The Birth that Ignited My Passion to Become a Doula
What led me to birth work, you ask? I have always been intrigued and fascinated by pregnancy and birth. It’s such a beautiful process. I haven’t had kids of my own, so it wasn’t a personal birth experience that led me here. Well, not in that sense at least. It all started with my own birth. Yep, my own birth, the story my mother has told me many times over the years. That was the spark that lit this flame.
Do you know your own birth story? If you don’t, you should ask your mom to tell you all about it. Get her perspective on how things went. Ask her questions about the experience, it may surprise you. I recently sat down with my mom and asked her about my birth again. After our conversation, I realized this was part of my journey to birth work so I got her permission to share her story.
Let’s travel back to the late 80’s…
My twenty-something year-old mother’s water broke, and she proceeded to the hospital because that is what her doctor told her to do. She got checked in and to her room and things were kinda slow. She wasn’t having very intense or frequent contractions so the hospital staff began to tell her they needed to speed things up. Keep in mind that my mom’s water broke sometime in the morning and she probably made it to the hospital mid-morning. She recalls that they came in and started her on Pitocin — which she remembers yelling at the nurses to stop each time they’d come in to turn up the dose. She tells me now, she didn’t know that she could have declined the Pitocin. She thought she had to do it and says that they didn’t really ask her so much as tell her what they were doing. After a few hours of intense and frequent contractions, my mom wondered if progress had been made, so she asked to be checked — only to be told she was at 2 cm. With the disappointment of little progress and exhaustion of the contractions, my mom asked for an epidural.
(This is where the story gets a little, well, messed up if you ask me. What happened next shouldn’t have happened.)
After her cervical check they called for the anesthesiologist. She said it didn’t take long, maybe a few minutes, and he was there in the room preparing to place the epidural. She was lying on her side and they were working on the placement and she asked if they could wait a second, she needed to go to the bathroom. Her nurses asked what she meant. She said “I need to go to the bathroom, I need to poop.” With panic on their faces they rechecked her cervix to find full dilation and me making my way out! “Don’t push!” they shouted. My mom tells me that she wasn’t trying to push but that her body was doing it anyway.
At this point the epidural hadn’t actually been pushed in yet but he went ahead and pushed it in (how messed up is that?!). They scrambled to get the doctor in time for my birth. My mom recalls feeling the whole birth and then the epidural took effect and she had numb legs. She says she was so mad that they gave her the epidural anyway, even though it was too late. Even thirty-something years later she’s bugged about it.
All of this happened in just hours, her water broke in the morning I was born mid-afternoon. The fact that they said she wasn’t progressing fast enough blows my mind. Having your water break doesn’t necessarily mean your labor has started, but it’s usually a good indicator it will start soon. Labors can take many hours. First time moms can labor for over 24 hours. I was my mom’s second birth so it could have been quicker than her first but not a guarantee. What I’m getting at here is the impatience of the hospital staff.
Every time I hear this story I feel bad for my mom. She didn’t have a good experience and it didn’t need to be that way. She deserved better!
Fast forward 6 years to the birth of my little brother…
My mom was so bothered by my birth that she made the change to a midwife and birth center. Can you blame her? With him her water broke like a flood late at night, the midwife asked if there were consistent contractions — there were not, so she said go to bed and to call if that changed. Next morning my mom got my older brother and I up and ready for school, and my aunt drove us so that my parents could head to the birth center. She got there around 9 or so, still didn’t have consistent contractions so the midwife told her and my dad to go walk around the neighborhood. She did that for about an hour and returned to the birth center. In a similar fashion to my mom’s labor with me, she went from zero to 10 real quick and my little brother was born just before noon. No Pitocin, no epidural, no pushy staff; just a gentle midwife to suggest and discuss options and help when needed. She was so much happier with her midwife and birth center experience, and just hearing the different approach it’s no wonder why. This experience honored her and respected her autonomy. She was in control and listening to her body.
And now today…
As an adult I still think of these stories often. How could things have been different when I was born? How could I avoid a birth experience like that? What can I do to better prepare myself? I saw so many around me have intervention heavy births so I began exploring and learning all that I could about birth. I knew that the more knowledge I had the more empowered and confident I could be at my own births. Then it happened. I came across the role of a doula. Once I found it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it just kept coming up. You mean that there is a role in birth work that allows me to share this knowledge with others so that they too can have confidence at their birth? I knew that God put me on this path and I that there was only one thing to do: become a doula!
It was my own birth that lit the spark towards becoming a doula. It took years and a little bit of life experience to finally ignite completely but it happened and I am so grateful! Through hearing my mother’s experiences of birth I was pushed to find a different way. My mom says that if she had been more educated she would have done things differently. “If I knew then what I know now…” she tells me. My passion is helping others to know more and prepare for birth on their terms.
Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. Please discuss all medical concerns with your care provider. This content is for educational and informational purposes only.
Welcome to the Relevé Birth Blog!
Here we explore the incredible journey of motherhood. Join me as we delve into empowering insights, easy movement tips and holistic approaches to pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
Thanks for reading!
Hi, I’m Sierra, a doula with a passion for physiological birth. My mission is to help moms, like you, gain the confidence to wholeheartedly trust their bodies to bring their babies into the world.
Join the movement to a better birth.
